Day Of Jubilee

See that lovely dress there in the window
It must cost five thousand bucks or so
And, dear, I think I need it for that party
We can't entertain the Smiths in rags you know.
See that microwave there on the counter?
My husband bought it just the other day!
And we now own a swimming pool
And we're planning a nice trip for two
To Boston, Bermuda, and Bombay!

And we'll put it on plastic money,
Plastic money!
The new, convenient modern way to pay!
If you want to buy it,
My dear friend, don't deny it!
Just charge it and carry it away!

My husband earns a hundred thousand yearly
With luck, I might bring in fifty grand
And I thought we had a budget set down clearly
But we bought more things than we had ever planned!
See the new Mercedes in the driveway?
Bought on time, because my credit's great!
And my husband joined a flying club
And then he bought a Piper Cub!
These homeowner's loans sure take the cake!

But it starts with plastic money,
Plastic money
The new, convenient modern way to pay
If they don't take credit cards,
Well, finding cash sure isn't hard,
The ATMs are here to save the day!

In my thousand-dollar housecoat I sit waiting
For that wondrous piece of mail they call the bill
For all these things we've accumulated
The finance charges are enough to kill
We just celebrated our third mortgage
With a quiet trip to San Francisco BY
And though we're living in a dream
These debts are real or so it seems,
They may have to take our credit cards away!

Oh I hate plastic money,
Plastic money
It's a sure-fire way to get depressed!
It's no longer funny,
My debts piled high and plenty
Are a symbol of American distress.
(Don't leave home without it!)