Day Of Jubilee

I went to sequence DNA, they said a thousand bucks
To sequence fifty samples, well now that price really sucks
So I looked at all the pictures and I chose to build my own
For you can sequence DNA from the things you find at home!.

CHORUS
ABI, Merck, and Xymogenetics
Amgen, Immunex
Abbott Labs and Kellogg’s—my God who will be next?
They make big bucks for sequencing, so they never want it known
That you can sequence DNA from the things you find at home.

First I needed a way to grind my samples up real fine
To separate out the DNA my sequence for to find
I found it in the kitchen, the bartender’s best friend--
Then I hauled it to the basement and I plugged the blender in.
CHORUS

Next I needed a way to spin my samples down
To separate out the protein so my sequence can be found
My centrifuge has five new modes that blow the rest away--
Cottons, linens, wash-and-wear, rinse and lingerie!
CHORUS

I needed a way to concentrate my DNA real well
So my sequence data will be right as clear as any bell
Ice and ethanol’s the way, so here is what I’ll do--
I’ll serve my sample on the rocks with a bit of Tullimore Dew! Ahhhh!
CHORUS

Now I need a color for every base that’s called
A bright and lovely shade to show the way the bases fall
Food coloring and RIT dye will work just fine—you’ll see!
Red and yellow, blue and green, for A, T, C, and G!
CHORUS

Now I need a way to run my samples on a gel
Without size-separation, you can’t sequence very well
Some Jell-O, trivets, and Mother’s comb, and soon it was complete--
My gel and casting system for a price no one can beat!
CHORUS

I’ve had my system running—I’ll admit it’s not the best
It miss-calls every fortieth base and loses half the rest
The signal strength is very low and the noise is very high
But I’m satisfied because it works just like an ABI!
CHORUS